Yes, Let Them Play. But Also…
I want you to imagine a wooden kabob stick. Just one. Imagine snapping it in half with your hands. Pretty simple, right? Could you snap two in half at the same time? Probably. And I doubt it would take that much more effort. But how many sticks do you think you’d have to be holding before you can no longer snap the sticks in half? Five? Ten?
Today, I’d like to plead my case for the value of early learning. A love letter to the powerhouse of neural development that is happening in the smallest humans before the age of five and why it is a gift to your child to capitalize on it. No one gets into homeschooling because they are in love with the alternative education options, public or private, that are available to them. Ultimately, everyone has a myriad of reasons for choosing this path, but once on it, boy, are there a lot of opinions about how to do it.
I love the flexibility homeschool offers and the ways it allows me to tailor how, when, and where my kids learn. As preschoolers, my kids got so much more time exploring the outdoors, going new places, and learning skills that a traditional preschool wouldn’t expose them to. And, of course, they got much more play time. But I think it can be easy for some people, who choose this path as a firm rejection of the traditional American academic path, to embrace an attitude of letting children play and not worrying about teaching young children academic skills, like the phonetic alphabet or numbers 1-10, because there’s “plenty of time later” or “kids just need to play.” But two things can be true at once:
Young kids (under age 5) absolutely need more play and exploration than traditional preschool allows in their life.
Young kids (under age 5) have brains that are absolutely hard-wired for learning as they are in the most rapid period of neural development they will experience in life.
Allowing them to capitalize on their brain’s natural predisposition to learn during this time by giving them foundational skills is a gift to them, not an imposition on their childhood.
While exploring the seemingly small world of homeschooling with its disproportionately varied opinions on how to approach it, I’ve seen people argue kids don’t need to learn to read until 7-10 years old or that little kids just need to play and shouldn’t be taught anything “academic.” This idea of putting off “formal” learning as long as possible for the sake of maintaining childhood just doesn’t sit right with me.
Children’s brains rapidly develop from age 0-5 reaching 90% of their adult size by age 5. While neural development continues throughout childhood and adolescence, it slows down after age 5. Neural development is like the strengthening of a muscle. A muscle that isn’t used will atrophy. A muscle that is trained strengthens and grows making it easier to use that muscle in the future. As our brain learns new skills, the neural connections it uses for these skills strengthens (imagine those sticks getting harder and harder to break). A child that learns the foundational skills for reading starting at age 3 is going to have much stronger “muscles” than a child that didn’t start using those muscles until they were 7. (I used to teach Psychology, so I love talking brain development. If you want to learn more, check this Harvard resource out.) And while I firmly believe this, I also don’t think a child under three and a half ever needs to sit at a table with any kind of workbook!
There are endless ways to learn through play. My oldest son knew most of the alphabet phonetically before I ever got any kind of formal preschool curriculum. His learning was all through simple games and no time sitting down! Learning these skills through play also has the huge benefit of giving you opportunities to playfully connect with your child. My son didn’t realize in the moment he was actively learning letter sounds that would one day help him read. The sounds and shapes we were looking at were just a mechanism of the game as far as he was concerned. But he definitely did understand that he was playing a game with Mommy and what’s more fun than that to a two- or three-year-old!? Learning something considered “academic” by some did not detract from his current experience of childhood, but actually propelled relational connection, playfulness, and a cognitive foundation that will make it easier for him to build on these skills later.
Play and learning “formal” academic skills are not at odds with each other. Respecting the sacred experience of childhood and children’s natural desire to play is not at odds with wanting to teach them skills that will only further their imagination and enable them to pursue curiosity. In the next few weeks, I’ll share some simple games you can try with your two- or three-year-old, so you can play with them and teach them foundational skills (without them even realizing it). But for today, I hope to leave you with the simple thought that supporting their future by teaching these skills does not somehow detract from their present experience as children. Children are playful, but they are also curious- determined to understand the world around them.
So, let them play, but also, help them discover.
